the life of lovely
A group of med students were asked this question on their entry examination paper: ‘rearrange the letters in ‘pines’ to form a part of the body. The ones who said ‘spine’ are now doctors, now I’m just, out of the college lol.’
No seriously, a career plan for a schizophrenic is like that joke, nothing to be taken seriously.
I have very poor function, so nobody would employ me.
In Australia, we have to vote, or else we get a fine. I don’t know how much the fine is, but I’d rather avoid it.
This topic really lowers my positive energy. It is the Orthodox Pascha tonight, when Christ was crucified (according to the Orthodox Church).
I try to be positive. But it is a continual process. I was thinking of when the janitor of the Orthodox Church rebuked me for attending functions at the Orthodox Church which are not for the general public, but are for the priest and chanters. I essentially am a bishop!
But no matter. I’m just a glutton for punishment.
Now, I might of said, on this blog, that I criticise certain priests’ words against me. That in no way detracts from the height of glory that the Orthodox Saints rose to. The average Orthodox Christian may be more impious than the average Protestant, but the height of righteousness that the lowest Orthodox Saint achieved far out ways anything the world or other religions could achieve.
You could say ‘the Pope and the Dalai Lama were the most righteous people who ever lived. But He that is least of the Orthodox Saints is greater than both of them.’ Notice I use ‘Saint’ with a capital S. This means a person with heroic virtue.
I enjoy saying prayers from Orthodox prayer books. It gives me some relief. I enjoy writing this blog, talking about various issues in life. It gives me some sense of achievement. I enjoy being a voluntary celibate. It is a mild chastisement compared to the fires of hell.
I’m guilty of attempting to start conversations with many strangers in public, notably female strangers.
I apologize for not being chad enough to be able to pull women.
I remember I was at the automated checkout, and I was trying to go between an asian couple who were at opposite registers, and the hot lady wasn’t looking where she was going, and walked into me, trying to get to her husband. How embarrassing for her, to bump into a sub-five, overweight man.
When I was 100kg, I started a conversation with a japanese lady by saying ‘excuse me, do all the trains go back into the city?’ And so I found out where she was from, and spoke a little japanese to her. I was still a sub five back then, in 2017.
I apologize for being ugly. I apologize for having a sex drive. I apologize for existing. I apologize for being a man.
I pig out on medium spice classic burgers, classic wraps and classic pitas.
I pork up. I never lose the weight.
Chomp.
Nom nom.
The 5 things that make me happy? Prayer, blogging on WordPress, watching YouTube, doing gentle exercises, and sleep.
I had a nap at the end of the day. Thanks to the sedative effects of my medication!
I sure wish my appetite would reduce, so I could lose some weight. I sure wish my energy levels would increase, so I could do some exercise.
I don’t believe in overdoing it when it comes to exercise. I believe in doing something gentle, without straining.
I prefer Qi Gong and Gentle Stretches. Qi Gong is the standing in one place version of Tai Chi. Tai Chi is slow movements, meant to relax the body. It is Chinese in origin.
I suppose Gentle Stretches can count as a form of Yoga. I do them to allow me to stand up for longer in church, and to walk further.
I am slowly losing weight.
The ladder of divine ascent is a theological treatise written by St John Climacus used to help Orthodox Christians. It states about 30 steps on the ladder towards perfection in God.
As it is written ‘faith without works is dead,’ and ‘be ye perfect, as your father in heaven is perfect.’ So we must obtain a degree of perfection to be able to avoid hell. Furthermore, it defeats the heresy of ‘sola fide’ and ‘sola scriptura.’
I pray for the souls of Martin Luther and John Calvin, who are in grievous torment, at home of course, not during the divine liturgy, as we can only pray for souls at the liturgy who ‘died Orthodox.’
I like to point to an Orthodox Saint whose corpse was ‘incorrupt’ and didn’t suffer from rigor mortis. His name was blessed Seraphim Rose, he died in the 80s. I hope I can have incorrupt relics, too.
Futility is a word that describes me. But wait, there’s more! I am not as futile as I used to be, but futile is the way I’ve felt most of my mentally ill years, up to about a week ago.
What’s changed? I went from an injection form of the anti-psychotic to a tablet form of the anti-psychotic. I feel a little negative sometimes, but I try to forgive others.
What’s the point of living? My friends and family. Those who I share Christian faith with. I like advising people about their own mental health struggles.
I have a few pleasures. Such as reading, PC gaming, gaming on my iPad, going to libraries.
Recently I went on a holiday that was funded by the National Disability Insurance Scheme, or NDIS for short. Even though it wasn’t perfect, I enjoyed the discipline. I treated it like a cadet camp.
I’m on a disability support pension. I wish I had work capacity, but I don’t. I’m trying to improve my work capacity, albeit slowly.
Nobody would hire a guy with a 10-year gap in his work history. So, I better know the employer.
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